i wanna be happy. but i feel like god wont let me. and i know he doesnt like it when i feel cold and empty. but him and this paper are the only ones that get me. i feel all alone and outnumbered like a lefty. but its too late to ignore. my emotions are set free and half time i give in to everything that tempts me. and none of this may make sense but it makes sense to me. im sittin here stressin when i should be countin my blessins. but i cant help but think about my multiple confessions. its like im lost in a maze trying to locate my progression and ive heard what they say. ive heard the theories and the legends and the endless amount of seconds should be enough to recon that this thing called life is like a hotel check in. were here for a while and go through everything and then time is up and we move on to better things. but is it supposed to be this hard? life and all of its lessons? people eating out of trashcans and girls accepting backhands people goin through depression and cuttin through their fleshn people hating on your music and your just trying to make an impression? and ill never be known for trying to write a poem but isnt it just expression?..no one really knows this cause i try my best to hide it. and i dont know how to say it so i sit alone and write it. negativity comes in fighting and i try my best to fight it and i know the key to happiness i just dont know how to apply it. i wish that i could buy it. so i could take it home and try it. if only it were a blunt and all i had to do was light it. im hurting and this whole process of learning has got me spinning and yearning for my life to start turning my life incense is burning. i feel the ash of my past ripping at whats to come and the ash will forever last even when our body s are done our names will be forgotten and we wont be remembered so i guess ill live my life with a a mentality uncensored. so even if documents of stress piling to the knee.i wont stop smiling cause smiling s free. i can touch i can taste smell hear and i can see. im blessed with a decent balance of my wants and my needs..so ill try to keep my head up and ill try to keep a smile. cause ive realized that life is just one big freestyle. and ill try to stay positive no matter what a bout and take times like this just to let it all out.